the end is nigh!

what a horrible blogger i am. i haven't blogged for an entire month! shame on me. a lot of life can happen in a month & surely a lot has happened. i have had two breaks from school, & glorious they were...well, minus the separation from my wonderful friends.

it's near the end of the school year & anytime you ask anyone how they are, the response will inevitably be "tired." there are roughly five weeks of school left. they are the crucial weeks. it's time to "hunker down." as the end of this school year comes though, i get a lot of mixed feelings. yes, i am more than ready for a break from the homework & deep thinking. but i am not ready for a break from learning. i have grown a ton in this past year. more than i could imagine. i have learned more than i honestly expected to. my relationships with people have grown deeper, with people that i didn't really expect them to. & because of that, the end of the school year is bittersweet.

with that being sad i am seriously looking forward to my summer. i have the opportunity to spend a whole month in italy serving with the local church. i'm beyond stoked. & i know that i am going to have a great time & that i am going to learn so much about the life that God has led me to. but with that comes the scary reality that i am soon going to be in the real world. in one short school year my life as a career missionary is going to be staring at me in the face.

here is my reality. i am scared. i am scared to go far away. i am scared to be away from my family. i am scared to be away from my church. i am scared to be away from my friends & from the people who have invested so much in my life. i am scared to leave "my comfort zone." i am afraid of not being the best missionary that i can be or failing to do the job at hand.

but i am more afraid of backing down from the task that God has asked of me. i am more afraid of not pleasing the Lord with all that i do. i know that God has placed this call on my life, a call that i have chosen to accept.

so as i try to wrap my mind around my call, i am more than grateful that i still have next year. as ready as i am to be done with this semester, knowing that i have one more year before i go into the big kid world is a great peace of mind.

i am excited to see how my life is going to unfold, but for now i am going to relish in these last five weeks of the semester & i am going to be present in the lives of the people that i love.

ever overwhelmed by the plan that God has for your life? don't worry, you aren't the only one.