tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29869252336528350222023-11-15T07:07:27.094-08:00You Aren't The Only Oneshelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-3911096388767991832013-10-29T15:28:00.001-07:002013-10-29T15:28:59.748-07:00October is Over....i have managed to write only one other blog post in the month of october. & of course, it was about christmas, because the tree is up. i have been enjoying having the tree up, as have many of my friends. but some people think i am absolutely crazy. & to that i say, i have been called worse things than crazy so...<br />
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anyhow, if i tried to write about everything that has happened between my last blog post and this one, we would all get bored. i would get tired of writing & eventually you would stop reading.<br />
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here is something kind of random & fun. i am starting an article for my school newspaper called "Cooking On Campus." it will just have some recipes that i have made that are simple for college students to make. it will be something different & hopefully give them a little break from sodexo ;)<br />
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i changed my major this semester, which has already proven to be awesome. while i am going to be at school for a time longer, i know that i am doing the right thing. many people think i am crazy switching my major in my senior year, but oh well. like i said, i have been called worse things than crazy. & i am super excited about being here on campus & i am even more excited about this incredible peace that i have had since making my decision, crazy or not.<br />
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this past sunday was our fall festival at church. what a fun time! lots of little kids in cute little costumes, candy, hanging out with friends, and even having a friend show up in a teletubbie costume. ha. i don't think i need to remind you that i have awesome friends. there are past blog posts to read about that, but really. i have great friends.<br />
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one thing that i think i am going to struggle with the most with this whole changing of the major is the fact that come next may, my closest group of friends will be graduating. & that makes me a little sad. but i know that there will be people that i can become closer friends with that will be there for me!<br />
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anyhow, that is a bit of an update. i can't wait for thanksgiving & i can't wait to see my family, but i can wait to do all the homework that comes in between now & then.<br />
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until next time my blog readers, until next time.shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-12995975143808365102013-10-07T19:41:00.003-07:002013-10-07T19:41:41.912-07:00oh tannenbaum well, it's october & if you know me, you know that means that the christmas decorations are up! & let me say, my tree looks awesome. last year around christmas time i decided that since i was in college there was a need for me to buy my own christmas tree for my dorm, just three or four feet high. so i did what any college student would do & i went to the nearest goodwill. at the second goodwill we went to, just when i was about to give up, i found a box....a big box. a box that had a seven and one half foot christmas tree in it. for fifteen dollars. are you kidding me? i bought it. there were no questions asked. even if my friends were going to let me put it up in our room, there was no way i was letting a seven and one half foot christmas tree for fifteen dollars get away from me. artificial trees cost way too much these days for that nonsense. anyhow, i didn't have to beg very hard for them to let me put the tree up, they thought it was just as awesome as i did.<br />
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so now here i am. it is october seventh. i am sitting in my living room, the roommate is doing homework, and we are contemplating going to bed, even if it is ridiculously early. & my christmas tree is there. all seven and one half feet of it. & it is glorious. i have been listening to christmas music nonstop for the past few days & the weather even cooled off for the weekend so that it seemed a little more normal.<br />
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most people will probably wonder why in the world i would choose to put up my christmas tree in october. well, i am so glad that you asked! yesterday, october sixth, was my dad's birthday. it's been a tradition for a long time to put up our christmas tree towards the beginning of the month of october & it always happened right around his birthday. since he loved christmas so much, it only seemed logical. just because he is gone now doesn't mean that tradition changes, & just because i am not at home with my family to put up our family tree doesn't mean that i can't start making my own traditions here. my roommate & i made homemade cookie dough the night before. i made dinner for my friends that came to help & we ate way too many cookies.<br />
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but oh well. my christmas tree is up. yes, it's only october, & yes i celebrate the holidays in between.<br />
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if you ever need something to brighten your day, stop on by. the tree is sparkling & my favorite "christmasy" scentsy scent is burning.<br />
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i love christmas.shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-34144535761729410822013-09-21T10:02:00.000-07:002013-09-21T10:02:58.107-07:00& 5 months later....warning: this blog post is real random:<br />
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it's awhile since i have blogged about anything. to try to catch you up on all that has happened since april, would be ridiculous & it would take me forever. if you really want to know about my summer & the crazy things that came with it, i would love sit down & chat with you. it was really life changing.<br />
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lately, life has been crazy. the ups & downs have seemed to be so intense. God has definitely been working in my life & i am trying really hard to trust that God knows what is best for me, but sometimes that is not the easiest thing. </div>
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today is a big day for the church that i attend. we are meeting someone that could potentially be the new worship pastor for our church. i am more than excited to meet him & to hear his story. at the same time, it's nerve-wracking. i have been helping out with music for the past few weeks so it's something that i have grown "attached" too, something that i want to keep safe & i know that if it is in my hands, that i can protect it, if that makes any sense at all. but now it's time to loosen my grip & pray for the person that God has brought to this position. we get to meet him tonight at seven, & i can't wait. </div>
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as i have been working through those feelings, i also changed my major. it's my senior year. i know. crazy. but i feel so sure that this is right decision. i am trusting that God will take care of me and continue to guide. i am going into english education. i want to teach english over seas. and so far, even though i wasn't too worries about what "everyone else thought," everyone has been very supportive & thinks that it is a great idea. i am so very thankful for their support. </div>
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i am looking forward to all that God has in store for me & to see what the future holds. but for now, i know that God has things under control, in all areas of my life, even when i can't see the why.</div>
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shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-83488106810850090352013-04-08T10:38:00.000-07:002013-04-08T10:38:28.566-07:00oh to be like howard. this title may seem a little odd, but hello, im odd.<br />
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there should be at least one person in your life that you look at & think, "i want people to see in me what i see in them."<br />
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when i see dr. c (howard), that is exactly what comes to my mind.<br />
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last night was the first district assembly service. (district assembly is big gathering of nazarenes that happens once a year. there are meetings & worship services & what not.) there were a lot of people. & as i stood at the back of the sanctuary, dr. c was called up the front of the stage. there he was, just standing there smiling as usual. dr. toler was giving him this big introduction and talking about the great missionary service that he had done & his work at southern nazarene university. he is retiring this year.<br />
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let's not talk about it. i will cry.<br />
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nevertheless, dr. c deserved every clap & shout that echoed in that building last night, even though he did none of those things for the claps & shouts & attention.<br />
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when i see dr. c, i see his heart. i swear it is bigger than the size of texas. he has a great concern for everyone. he wants everyone to do well. he cares about you outside of the classroom as much as he does inside the classroom.<br />
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when i see dr. c, i see his compassion. he has told story after story in class about ways that he & barbara (his wife) have reached out to others. he spent some years in florence, italy (rough life, ha!). he spent some years in haiti. & each produce stories of the greatness of God & the work that God is doing in each of those places. each story that he tells (& sometimes retells) reflects on the person that he is. he has so much compassion for others & love for others.<br />
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when i see dr. c, i see Jesus. no, i do not think that dr. c is Jesus, but i do see Jesus shining through him. in everything that he does. wherever he goes, whomever he speaks to, it is with the intention of letting them know that he loves Jesus. & it's obvious.<br />
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i am not the only person who loves this man. everyone is sad to know that dr. c won't be around next year. ( i have tried to talk him into staying just one more year for my senior year...but he won't.)<br />
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i have had the privilege of getting to spend some time with dr.c by working as his student assistant. i have my little cubby right outside his office. not only do i work for him, but i also get to sit in class with him & he is also my academic advisor because i have been called to follow in his footsteps. & to be honest, i am a little afraid of that. they are some big shoes to fill. he has worked hard his entire life to glorify God to the utmost.<br />
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i certainly haven't known him for as long as some have, but in the short time that i have known him, i know exactly what he is about. there is no getting around it.<br />
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oh my friends. if there were more howard culbertson's in the world, the world would be a much different place. the world would be on fire for God & there would be nothing to hold anyone back from sharing it with every person that we come in contact with.<br />
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dr. c, thank you, from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done & for the example that you have given us. you will never know the amount of respect that i have for you & you will never know how greatly that you will be missed around this place.<br />
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we love you.<br />
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<br />shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-38979821443468487202013-04-08T09:19:00.000-07:002013-04-08T09:19:24.905-07:00the end is nigh!what a horrible blogger i am. i haven't blogged for an entire month! shame on me. a lot of life can happen in a month & surely a lot has happened. i have had two breaks from school, & glorious they were...well, minus the separation from my wonderful friends.<br />
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it's near the end of the school year & anytime you ask anyone how they are, the response will inevitably be "tired." there are roughly five weeks of school left. they are the crucial weeks. it's time to "hunker down." as the end of this school year comes though, i get a lot of mixed feelings. yes, i am more than ready for a break from the homework & deep thinking. but i am not ready for a break from learning. i have grown a ton in this past year. more than i could imagine. i have learned more than i honestly expected to. my relationships with people have grown deeper, with people that i didn't really expect them to. & because of that, the end of the school year is bittersweet.<br />
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with that being sad i am seriously looking forward to my summer. i have the opportunity to spend a whole month in italy serving with the local church. i'm beyond stoked. & i know that i am going to have a great time & that i am going to learn so much about the life that God has led me to. but with that comes the scary reality that i am soon going to be in the real world. in one short school year my life as a career missionary is going to be staring at me in the face.<br />
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here is my reality. i am scared. i am scared to go far away. i am scared to be away from my family. i am scared to be away from my church. i am scared to be away from my friends & from the people who have invested so much in my life. i am scared to leave "my comfort zone." i am afraid of not being the best missionary that i can be or failing to do the job at hand.<br />
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but i am more afraid of backing down from the task that God has asked of me. i am more afraid of not pleasing the Lord with all that i do. i know that God has placed this call on my life, a call that i have chosen to accept.<br />
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so as i try to wrap my mind around my call, i am more than grateful that i still have next year. as ready as i am to be done with this semester, knowing that i have one more year before i go into the big kid world is a great peace of mind.<br />
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i am excited to see how my life is going to unfold, but for now i am going to relish in these last five weeks of the semester & i am going to be present in the lives of the people that i love.<br />
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ever overwhelmed by the plan that God has for your life? don't worry, you aren't the only one.shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-74847099973396482382013-03-07T06:52:00.000-08:002013-03-07T06:52:10.835-08:00"the struggle is real"i stole that title from a friend. & even though it is usually meant to be a joke, oh so true it is. & most of the time, we don't like to admit it.<br />
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wednesday night. church night. always has been, more than likely always will be. but tonight was different. there was three, then there was two, then back to three, & then back to two. & despite the fact that for the majority of the time there was only two of us, "church" still happened. i will still able to glean from it. i was able to learn a few things about myself. things that perhaps i already knew deep down inside, but when they are verbalized by someone else, they make more sense. & that was me tonight.<br />
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i'm going to be honest. i'm struggling. things that i don't necessarily want to share on here, mainly because i am not ready to be THAT vulnerable. but nevertheless, "the struggle is real." <br />
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i like to be in control. i like for things to happen a certain way. i don't like to be unprepared. i don't like to make a fool of myself, especially in front of people. i like for things to go smoothly. i want everyone to gain from whatever is going on. & sometimes it's overwhelming. i try to balance so many different things because, as i have stated before, i love to help people & help fix people.<br />
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i was told last night that i try to do too much on my own. anyone who knows me knows that i have a big heart & love to be around people. i can't say no. i want to help out in as many ways as possible. but sometimes that can mean being spread to thin. & i can't give one-hundred percent to things because i have so many things that need my attention. but, having a big heart isn't a good enough excuse to just say yes to everything, especially when i don't let God in to help me. & that means i am not trusting God enough. i am not trusting that God can keep things under control without me. i think that i can do things on my own. ha.<br />
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real life: i can't. & i know that & i tell other people to "just trust God." it might be time to take my own advice.<br />
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it's not easy to have someone else point out your weaknesses. but it sure does grab your attention & make you think.<br />
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& yesterday, the struggle was real. today, the struggle is still real. but today i am choosing to trust the Lord.<br />
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is the struggle real? don't worry. you aren't the only one.shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-79232454256195997192013-02-28T07:02:00.000-08:002013-02-28T07:02:22.878-08:00as for me & my house...i post a butt ton about my friends. but lesbihonest (haha) they are pretty much the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. so, why not blog about them.<br />
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last night was so great. the Lord was among us at our service last night. & it is not because of anything special that was planned. as a matter of fact, it was the opposite. this week has been a bit crazy & other things have been occupying my time. i am not trying to make up an excuse for not being prepared for this weekly task, because there is no excuse. i just didn't do it. of course last minute i am trying to throw some songs together for worship & here i am thinking that if i don't pick the most perfect songs for tonight, then no one will get anything out of it. so we (we being myself and zach, the guy who leads worship with me) try to throw some songs together. we finally come to three songs. we print the chords & the lyrics & off to the church we go to practice. then we get there & one of the songs wasn't going to work so we had to throw it out & pick a new song. but we weren't going to have lyrics for it because we had no way of getting the lyrics. (hang in there with me, this gets better.) so, last minute we are scrambling to come up with another song. we pick a fast (& pretty old school & cheesy) song. we get through the first song & then boom! slow song. haha. it might have been a little awkward at the start. but when we started to sing those words. everyone slowed down. everyone seemed to get into it. & even though we were still practicing with two minutes left before church started, it was actually coming together. of course, we know that it is not because of anything that we did. heck, we weren't even in the right mind set when we started the service.<br />
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but anyways. we keep singing this song. the song is basically saying that we want to be better. we want the Lord to give us a clean heart & we are telling the Lord that we are turning from our sin & running to Him. pretty powerful stuff. it may seem like pretty basic Bible, but sense when did things need to be complicated? so, we are all singing, zach prays, we sing, zach prays. then out of no where (not really, but seemingly out of no where) came our worship pastor & boom! we have the piano. & we end up having the epic night of worship & you could just feel the presence of the Lord wrapped around you like a big blanket. (i think it would have been a lot like elizabeth's heated blanket!) we sang some more songs, we held hands, we cried, we prayed, & people shared what was on their hearts.<br />
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but something that stuck with me the most was this. "it doesn't matter what frame of mind that we come to church in, God is going to use us." (this is a bit paraphrased, but you get the picture.) you see, i might not have been prepared for church last night, but the Lord was. the Lord showed up without every note being just right or everything being super smooth. the Lord doesn't need me to have church. the Lord doesn't need for me to be perfect. (amen!) the Lord just needs me to be willing (even when i don't feel like it), to have an open heart & to allow Him to guide me.<br />
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you see, worship isn't a feeling, it's a lifestyle. & everyday we have a choice to make. we have a choice to worship when the sun is shining down on us or when the road is marked with suffering. the Lord tells us that things aren't going to be easy. but the Lord promises us that if we choose Him, He will guide & lead us & carry us through.<br />
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today is new day. what will you choose?shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-17216628130962975512013-02-19T14:49:00.001-08:002013-02-19T14:49:43.591-08:00two wise guys..i know that all my blogs are serious. & to be honest, this one will be no different. in fact i will cry typing it...haha<br />
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this blog is more of a shout out to two very special people to me. they are both men that i look up to & trust & feel that the Lord has placed in my life for a very specific purpose. they both let me talk about life experience & let me be completely me. they let me laugh & cry. they teach & guide me. they are true inspirations.<br />
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ever since the passing of my dad, there has been what i would call a "lack of male guidance." there have been times where i would want to pick up the phone & call my dad to tell him something exciting but i can't. there are lots of things that cross my mind that won't happen with my dad that the majority of my friends aren't going to understand, not that i would ever want them to. (i do want to say that my friends do a fantastic job of listening to me rant though!)<br />
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& i have been praying. it is not easy to let someone in & perhaps "fill the void." but, i have been praying that God would place a male figure in my life that i could look up to & trust & go to when i need some "fatherly" advice.<br />
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& boy has God come through. God didn't just give me one, God gave me two. one who understands where i am coming from because he has been through the same thing. & i want these two people to know that i love them very much & i appreciate them both more than they will ever know. i get teary eyed (i know, shocker) just typing this.<br />
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these two men have become that "father" figure to me. & i love them.<br />
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jason mcwilliams & tim crutcher, you are deeply loved. know that i am grateful for each of you & that God is using you, even when you don't know it!shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-62004577705768566482013-02-18T07:47:00.000-08:002013-02-18T07:47:39.460-08:00'tis the sweet life..sleeping in.<br />
weekends that are productive yet relaxing.<br />
hearing THE best news & *almost* crying. (almost is very key, people)<br />
singing les mis songs before church starts.<br />
my adopted family <3.<br />
practically perfect weather.<br />
laughing til we don't remember why we are laughing.<br />
getting your bangs trimmed.<br />
talking to my mother on the phone.<br />
falling asleep watching roman holiday with audrey hepburn & thinking, "i'm going there!"<br />
great emails that inform you that class is canceled today & next week.<br />
looking forward to celebrating a friend's engagement.<br />
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oh yes, all of this with the world's best group of friends. boom. 'tis the sweet life...shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-88086790827961688372013-02-13T09:51:00.000-08:002013-02-13T09:51:00.693-08:00love is a many-splendored thingif you know anything about me, you know that i stress. a lot. i stress about things that won't ever effect me...ever. & even though stressing out might not be how everyone else deals with their life problems (or other people's life problems), it's how i deal with "it" (whatever the "it" might be for the time).<br />
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i have come to the realization that i stress out about other people's problems more than my own. i've also come to the realization that it might be in avoidance of my own life stressers. if i focus on other people, my problems don't seem as big. if i can fix other people then i will find this sense of self-worth (i know, it sounds crazy. tell me something i don't know). this week i have asked my self why? why is a big question. but why? why do i allow myself to stress out about other people & the things that they are going through? why do i care about the choices they make & the choices that are made by others that will effect them? why do i care about what they do, why they do it, & how can i help & be involved in their lives? how can i "fix" them?<br />
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yes. i know. i can't fix people. but i can help people. but why do i have this intense passion to help people?<br />
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then. it hit me like a ton of bricks. (well, not really but i like to use that statement. it more or less happened over a period of time) but, it's because i love deeply. i love all my friends with such an intense passion. & i fall fast. the people that i stress out about the most are the people that i love. i take my relationships more than serious. the people that i spend the majority of my time with are the people that i spend the majority of my time thinking about. i want to be with them all the time. i want them to do well in school. i want them to be the best that they can be. i want them to love me. i want them to love life. i want them to love Jesus. i want them to not have to worry about tomorrow. i want them to not worry about the stresses of their home life or money. & if they can't do those things, i want to "fix" it. & when i can't, i worry about them. because i am concerned for them. because i care about their well being. because i love them with every ounce of my being. & when they laugh, i laugh. when they rejoice, i rejoice. when they struggle, i struggle. when they hurt, i hurt. when they cry, i cry (& sometimes i cry even when they don't).<br />
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i understand that i can't use this as an excuse & i also know that there are times when my stressing out is at its maximum level & it is too much. & i know that stressing out can cause serious problems (been there done that). but i hope that those that i love the most & those that truly know me understand that when i stress, it's because i love.<br />
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& when i love, i don't hold back.<br />
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"there is nothing i would not do for those who are really my friends. i have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature." - jane austen, northanger abbeyshelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-73223018374075316292013-01-30T22:02:00.001-08:002013-01-30T22:02:29.962-08:00when words aren't enoughthere is that saying, "actions speak louder than words." let's just say, i hope it's true. things happen in life that we can't explain & that we can't even begin to understand. & things happen to those that we care about & love & sometimes there is nothing to say. sometimes we just have to listen. sometimes we just have to sit there. & that is rough. it's rough to watch people struggle. i just want to give them a big hug & say, "it's all going to be just fine" or "everything will be okay." i don't believe in "just fine," people. i don't. when you say it's going to be just fine, you are making a promise, one that you really don't have any right making. it's an empty promise. you are taking a 50/50 guess at it. not a chance i am willing to take. i am willing to walk along side & be a comfort. i am willing to sit through the pain, but i refuse to make empty promises. i promise that they will get through. i promise that no matter what happens, God is in control. no matter how you feel, God can handle it. you think God can't handle your anger? guess again people.<br />
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i'm not real sure where i wanted this blog to go. & honestly i don't feel like it went anywhere. i just needed a late night vent & i am sure my friends are sick of hearing it. but just know that in the hard times, we have a God that we can turn to & trust. even when you don't feel like it, God is there. it's a step-by-step process & a daily choice that we have to make.<br />
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ever feel overwhelmed by life? yeah...you aren't the only one.shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-8532193665855806282013-01-25T18:25:00.002-08:002013-01-30T22:02:47.405-08:00laughter is the best medicine :)this will be short.. i think. today started off horribly...shocker, shocker. did you read yesterday's blog? anyhow. school is over; work is over. now i am sitting in my room with my roommate, jenna & my suitemates, ronna & elizabeth.<br />
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let me just say: i love my friends.<br />
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for the past thirty minutes we have been laughing to the point of not breathing anymore. we have been acting like crazies, but ya know what? after a long week of blah & grossness, laughing til we almost pee our pants is definitely the way to end the week.<br />
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(currently ronna & elizabeth are acting out parts of the movie heidi with shirley temple...almost crying because it is so heartbreaking)<br />
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anyhow, we are having a fun night in just the four of us. & it is a reminder to me. just because i am having a rough day, week, or month, it doesn't mean that my joy is gone. my friends remind me that really i am joyful, it just sometimes gets covered up by the "ickies" of life. i am not going to say that life is automatically all better, but i am starting to see that glimmer of hope.<br />
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i love friday nights in with my cup of joe & the world's best friendsshelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-67721871497289175922013-01-24T10:39:00.002-08:002013-01-24T10:39:24.341-08:00when it rains it pours...do you ever feel like life is just going on & nothing bad is really happening & you are kind of in a happy-go-lucky mode? yeah. that was my life just last week. then, saturday comes & BOOM! bad stuff happens all at once! i have struggled with life & why God would allow for certain things to happen to people that we care about so much. this struggle isn't new to me. when i lost my dad 3 1/2 years ago, i asked God why multiple times on any given day. of course, knowing why would never be good enough, but because i am a human, i feel like i have to answers for everything, like i am entitled to them. tough love, people. we aren't entitled to anything. but still, even knowing that i am not entitled to any answers, this week, i am struggling with why.<br />
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i can't go into intimate detail of all that this week entails. but i have gotten two bad phone calls & a double ear infection. why couldn't these things be spread out? why do i have to get sick two weeks into school getting back into full swing? why do people have to get sick? why does my grandpa have to be in the hospital? why can't they figure out what the heck happened to him? why do bad things happen to me, just when i feel like my life is finally turning around? why, why, why? (in the back of my brain, all i can hear is my grandma saying, "the Lord rains on the just and unjust, shelby ann, & that includes you")<br />
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this week my mind is being pulled in 101 different directions, i am not even sure that this blog post makes sense. but i am a problem solver. i like to help people & make other people feel better. it's what i want to do with my life. if i could take on everyone's burden i would, just so they could be better & wouldn't have to go through the struggle. (i know that is a little unhealthy) but this week, i feel a little hopeless. i feel like whatever i do or say, it isn't going to help or make a difference. i know that is just the enemy trying to take root & steal my newfound joy, but i still feel this way, i still feel crushed.<br />
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i have picked up my bible to find verses to help me this week & the Lord always has a way of showing up. God has a way of showing me exactly what i need, even when i didn't realize that i needed it. but God also shows up in the form of my friends. the people that God has placed in my life were planned out so carefully for me, because God knew what i would need. i am so thankful for a group of friends who can talk about God & life & let me cry like a big baby all the time. i am thankful for a group who is led my some of the most godly, loving people that i know. i am thankful for a group who is sensitive to God & where God is leading & growing each of us. i am thankful for a group that lets me ask all those whys & is by my side through those times of struggle.<br />
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even those this week has been a tough one, i know that God is right here in the midst of it with me. & when i look back & see that one set of footprints, i know that God carried me through & that i am wrapped in His arms. God has the answers to all my questions & i will cling to Him.<br />
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Psalm 34:18 - "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."<br />
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<br />shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-87977758628741552222012-11-29T18:57:00.001-08:002012-11-29T19:03:15.333-08:00thank you Lord for eyes to seeclose your eyes for 10 seconds.<br />
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pretty dark in there? well, imagine that being a lifetime. this week, i had the opportunity to work with a blind girl. & she impacted me more than she will ever know. i work with kids on monday nights at the church that i attend. usually we only have toddlers but this monday night, we had four older kids show up all at the same time, one of them being this blind girl that i mentioned. at first, i was the only worker there & i was freaking out a little. but i did my best. the other kids went into the children's area & were playing kickball & across the hall was the nursery, where this blind girl wanted to stay because she was afraid of getting hit by a ball. she was also reading. she brought a book about women in history that was in braille. i was intrigued right off the bat. she sat on the floor & opened the book & began to run her fingers across the bottom to find the page number. she found her page & with both hands, took both index fingers & ran them across those raised bumps. i just watched her. she would read something funny & then laugh but keep her fingers going right across the page. i found myself staring.<br />
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next, she pulled toys out of the bin & asked me what they looked like & what colors they were. then she asked me what blue or red or purple looked like. how do you explain colors to someone who has never seen them? how do you tell them what red is? you can't just say well firetrucks are red, because they have never seen a firetruck. even when i told her that i didn't know how to explain what a color looked like to her, she just smiled & said, "that's ok. you just don't have to worry about that kind of stuff." my heart hurt a little bit. she was right. i take things, like seeing different colors, for granted.<br />
i know that i have posted about christmas a lot lately, but i find myself thinking about my blind friend tonight. everyone is putting up pictures of their christmas trees on all the social networks & talking about all the awesome decorations & some of us will even get in our cars & go christmas light looking. & tonight i am sitting next to my lovely christmas tree & as silly as this might seem, i am thankful that i am able to see it. i am thankful that i can see the lights & the bulbs (ornaments) & the pretty snowflakes. my mind wanders to my little friend & how she will never see those things. & then i start to think about other things that she will never get to see like sunsets, snow falling, fireworks, a thanksgiving day parade, the sky...<br />
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i am not writing this post so that we can all feel sorry for this blind girl, believe me, she has come to grips with it.<br />
i am writing it so we can learn to be a little more grateful for the things that we see. that when we look at the world around us, we can do just that.<br />
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i may have perfect vision, but my dear little friend could see far more than i could.<br />
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but then again, that depends on your definition of see...shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-13595896705669007812012-11-28T15:54:00.001-08:002012-11-28T16:00:10.082-08:00OH, Christmas Treemoment of truth here. i am a broke college student who loves christmas. i have shared in a previous post about my love of christmas & the story behind this crazy love. however, today we had quite the adventure, and by we i mean me & a couple of other friends. we went christmas tree shopping. remember we are in college, so in our minds we were thinking maybe a four foot tree. the first place we decided to look was good will. people are getting rid of their old trees to buy new ones. we went in & got distracted by some lovely prom dresses that were on a rack (c'mon, you know it's easy to get lost in a good will). then, i started walking around looking for a tree & i was a tad bit disappointed because i couldn't find one. but....i kept walking to the back of the store & there in the corner, was a brown box with clear tape on it. i looked at it saw how much it cost & i knew i had to have it. ladies & gentlemen, i bought a seven & one half feet christmas tree for fifteen dollars....fifteen dollars! i am beyond excited about this buy. this tree probably cost its previous owners two hundred dollars, easily. of course, my friends were excited about this as well, & then we moved on to find lovely decorations for it.<br />
tonight, we are going to decorate it all together, & it makes me think of home & the lovely time that i have with my precious family putting the tree together. tonight will be special because for the first time i will put up a tree with my best friends. & that is a new adventure & a part of growing up & making new traditions. there will probably be christmas music & some hot chocolate involved, which is ALWAYS a good idea. i am more than excited about how today has turned out & with decorating a christmas tree in the near future with my besties, it can only go up from here!<br />
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if you haven't put up your christmas tree yet, you better hurry up! christmas is only one day of the year, & sadly it's only 24 hours just like the other days. get decorating!<br />
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are you enjoying your christmas tree too much? don't worry, you aren't the only one!shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-38312917172487945852012-11-17T20:18:00.002-08:002012-11-17T20:19:28.238-08:00procrastination...procrastination: to delay or postpone action; to put off doing something. yeah, i know. it's miserable. but if it were a class, i would get an one-hundred percent, as would many other people that i know. these past few weeks have been so busy. & i am trying to balance a social life, academic life, & a sleep life, which i have been told on more than one occasion by facebook, (probably while procrastinating) is not possible. slowly i am learning that that statement isn't just a funny picture to look at but a reality. if i want great grades & a great social life, there is no time for sleep. if i want sleep & great grades, i would have no time for friends. if i want friends & sleep time, i wouldn't be able to stay at school because i would fail. do you see my dilemma? these four years that i plan on spending here means that i am never going to sleep. ever. i will not let my grades slip, or my friends. they both mean way to much to me. however, sometimes i let my social self get a little carried away & then i end up getting an upset stomach from laughing to much & no homework done. sometimes, the homework can wait. but this week, it shouldn't have been put off. & it was. i have a huge paper that is due on monday before i leave for thanksgiving. i started it today & finished it today. writing a paper in one day is not usually a problem, but today it took me eleven & a half hours. eleven & a half. & it's a great paper. procrastination at its finest ladies and gentlemen.<br />
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i have been told in the past that i freak out when under pressure. but when it comes to last minute paper writing, stress helps me out. when i know i only have a certain amount of time to write, i buckle down & get it done.<br />
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basically what i am trying to say is procrastination isn't always a bad thing. but i definitely wouldn't recommend it as a lifestyle.<br />
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what i want you to hear right now, is that if your friends are gonna make a late night run to sonic or on-cue, your paper can wait. i mean #yolo.<br />
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are you an a+ procrastinator? no worries friends, you definitely aren't the only one!shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-87318826833854119322012-11-15T08:29:00.002-08:002012-11-15T08:29:24.774-08:00YOU are the reason for the season!i am the biggest fan of the holidays. i love everything about them. i even love the idea of them. just to help you better understand this obsession, let me tell you a short story. one year, some years ago, my family decided that there was just not enough time, due to crazy schedules, in november or december to put up the christmas tree. so naturally, we decided that we would put up the tree in october & that we wouldn't tell anyone that we did it. well, when you put up your tree on october, & you have three small children, there is no way that story is not getting out. we went to church the next day, where my dad was on staff, & told everyone. of course, no adult would believe us & would approach my parents about it. they couldn't lie! we kind of played it off like we were going to have a whole bunch of people over for a coffee & dessert night at the end of october. i'm not sure if that really was a part of the plan, but anyhow, putting up the tree that early became a tradition. well, this year, there a problem. i am junior in college & i decided, before leaving for school in august, that i was not going to drive home for our four day break in october, which i had driven home in previous years. my fifteen year old sister found out & came in and said, "we are putting up the tree without you then!" i simply asked her if we could be "normal," whatever that means, & put the tree up in november when i came home for thanksgiving. of course, her loud, dramatic answer was no. so there was only one obvious solution to this problem: we HAD to put the tree up before i leave for school. people, our christmas tree has been up since july. call me crazy, but i love my dang family!<br />
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i will be the first to admit that i love the commercial aspect of christmas. i love christmas trees, christmas music, christmas snow, christmas cards, christmas coffee, christmas movies, christmas shopping, christmas santa, and christmas EVERYTHING. i love the way that christmas makes people behave differently. i love the memories that surround my love of christmas; most of those memories are full of my dad. he would make us do stupid stuff like make fake news broadcasts saying that the snow was so falling so hard we were going to be snowed in for days, while throwing white confetti at us. i live in houston. christmas is never white. or there was the time when we were trying to hard to convince my little brother that santa's real (& santa is) & we made it seem like he was in such a hurry that there was a path of presents that led to the chimney. of course, my brother thought it was the greatest thing ever.<br />
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but let's be real. during this time, we tend to get our priorities a little mixed up. & i will be the first to admit that i sometimes let the commercial aspect of the holidays get in the way of the true meaning of christmas. what is that you asked? well, to quote a sermon that my dad gave "you are the reason for the season." many times we see christmas cards and coloring pages in sunday school that say, "Jesus is the reason for the season." & my dad would argue that. granted christmas is a time to celebrate that Jesus was born, i think that if we only focus on the fact that He was born, we have lost sight of the true meaning. we have to ask ourselves WHY Jesus was born. john 3:16 says, "for God so loved the world." that is you & me. the world. Jesus wasn't just born so we could make a holiday out of it. Jesus was born into the world so that thirty-three years later He could offer up the greatest love sacrifice known to man, His life.<br />
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so this christmas, while you are christmas shopping, putting up your christmas tree, listening to glorious christmas music, & watching the greatest christmas movies, stop & take a moment to remember, not that Jesus was just born, but that He lived & died for you.<br />
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getting a little excited about the approaching holidays? let me just say, you aren't the only one!shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-24699123991536031542012-11-09T17:00:00.000-08:002012-11-09T17:00:07.465-08:00growing up is hard to do...this weekend is homecoming. & there is so much going on. there are people everywhere; alumni who are reminiscing, college students who are just going about their daily lives, and prospective students who are in awe of all that is happening around them. yet, there is this feeling about. & i don't know how to describe it. everyone seems to be enjoying themselves a little more & i feel like the school has just kind of come alive. of course, just because homecoming is happening doesn't mean that regular school stops (even though we all wish it would). so on top of school, there are games to attend, musicals to go to, people to meet, students to persuade, & lots of reunions & lunches to be at. it can get a bit hectic. and how can you fit homecoming into one day? simple answer: you can't. therefore, it's a whole weekend event that keeps everyone involved super busy.<br />
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today something awesome happened to me. you might find that it is not that awesome, but i think it's great. i had the privilege of volunteering to help at the registration table. & there were four of us. i was the only current student. i sat down in a chair & struck up a casual conversation with the man sitting next to me. & in that conversation found out some pretty awesome things. one, he has an awesome daughter & son-in-law & i have the privilege of being a part of the college group they lead! that was so awesome, but WAIT! there's more. he asked me where i am from & what church i was from. when i told him, he got all excited & told me that he knew my pastor. & in my brain, all i could think was wow! the nazarene church is even smaller than i expected! our conversation kept on going & we discovered that he even knew my dad, who was the youth pastor at our church! yeah, then i said out loud what had gone through my head. it's a small nazarene bubble! of course anyone who is a nazarene could tell you that. & of course, we were both excited about the connection that we had made. then the day continued as planned, people came & signed in & four o'clock, we said our goodbyes. tonight there are basketball games that require me to scream & shout til i have no voice left. then i am sure there will be some sort of late night movie party or "homework party," if those even really exist. or (this just in) a bonfire at a friend's house? who knows. i like to be spontaneous.<br />
alas, tomorrow will be busy as well. tomorrow i get to spend seven & a half hours with kids whose parents are attending all the festivities. don't get me wrong, i love kids, it's the getting up at six thirty in the morning part that kills me. i am not a morning person, but i do know that once i see the kiddos come in, i will be all smiles.<br />
today i am looking around my campus & i see groups of people that are talking about the times that they shared together & people catching up on what has happened in life over the past years. i can't help but be excited that i am a part of it, even if my role is a minor one. i get to be a student. i get to see a glimpse into my future. i get to see what i have to look forward to. i get to see that being apart of this community now will impact that future that i have. today i know that the decision i made to come to SNU was the right one. i will forever be grateful to this school & the lovely people that come with it.<br />
ever feel overwhelmed because your life is awesome? don't worry, friends. you aren't the only one!shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2986925233652835022.post-77148981142227905612012-11-08T22:08:00.001-08:002012-11-08T22:08:15.518-08:00today, i went to chapel. what is significant about this you ask? nothing. it was just like any other thursday at my school. but today, chapel was a different experience for me. i was more involved. i sang with the group that led worship. what an awesome experience to worship God with fellow students! but today the dorm that i live in was in charge of the whole shindig. & we decided to do cardboard testimonies. (for those of you who don't know what that is, you should google it or look it up on youtube!) there were forty of us who decided to get up & give our testimonies, making us super vulnerable to our peers by telling them a little bit about our stories. i tend to judge people that i don't know (i know, i am a horrible person) & think they just have perfect little families & perfect little lives. well, that my friends, is not true. not one bit. i learned today that i am not the only one. i am not the only one who struggles. i am not the only who has been hurt & has felt alone in the world. there were forty of us who were willing to get up and share our stories & so many more stories that sat in chairs across the auditorium. & that just amazes me. the fact that we all had come together in place today & that each one of us has such a unique & different story. & then i think, wow this is just my school! what about my town? what about the state that i live in? what about the country? what about the rest of the world? so many different stories & here i am only thinking about myself & my problems & my story.<br />
what is the point in this first blog of mine? i have no clue. i just that know everyone that reads this, which won't be many, has their own story. what that might be? i have no earthly idea. but you do. & someone else needs to hear it, & more than likely, you need to get it off your chest. just remember one thing my dear friends, you aren't the only one. shelbyannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03910523123368283643noreply@blogger.com0